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An inside look at military boarding school Article & photos by Kathy Simmons Copyright 2001 by Parents' Press This article first appeared in the Parent.TEEN section of Parents' Press, June 2001 issue "Straighten up ­ or we'll send you to military school!" Most teens have heard this threat from their frustrated parents at one time or another. You've probably wondered what it would be like to attend a military school. Those who have "been there, done that" describe the experience as both "frustrating" and "fun." One thing is for sure ­ it's life-changing! Parents decide to send their kids to military schools for many reasons, including:  Structure: Considering the power of peer pressure, teens need a tight schedule. Too much free time invites bad choices. Working parents often find it difficult to closely monitor their teen's activities; therefore the structure found at military schools is appealing.  Role models: Strong male role models are important ­ especially for teenage boys. Military schools provide many positive leaders, including instructors, coaches, "tac officers" (school employees who supervise the boys' activities), and on-staff chaplains.  Academics: Achievement of good grades is heavily emphasized, and help is available to struggling students.  Tradition: Families with a history of military school attendance are inclined to maintain the tradition. If your grandfather and father went to a military school-it's a safe bet you'll be going too! Even if your parents "force" you to go to a military school, you can make the most of the experience. As Brett, a senior at New York's LaSalle Military School, said, you might find that it is not the worst place to attend school. He advises teens to, "Give it a chance: You never know the possibilities ­ it could be the best years of your life." The Good . . Grades: Invariably, students make better grades at military schools. Good grades are acknowledged with merits, while bad ones result in demerits. The more merits students accumulate, the more privileges they enjoy. Class sizes are small, instructors are well educated (many hold advanced degrees), and tutoring is available. Friends: Considering that cadets go to class, eat, play sports, and live together, close friendships are inevitable. Chris, a graduate of La Salle, says of the deep friendships he made at military school, "We all stuck together and backed each other when times got tough, regardless of the end result." Sports: Military schools believe in keeping students moving. Sports provide valuable camaraderie and confidence-building advantages. Most schools offer a wide array of intramural and inter-school sports, from traditional football and basketball to the less conventional canoeing and rappelling. Recognition: Positive recognition is demonstrated with the rewards of rank and privileges for good grades and behavior. Nathan, a 16-year-old sophomore at GA's Riverside Military Academy, says, "Although the rules are a pain at times, life is a lot easier when you follow them. You get more freedom and respect from others." The bad and the ugly . . . No girls: Although there are some co-ed military schools, many are for boys only. While this may seem like a form of cruel and unusual punishment, school officials understand the importance of a balanced social life. Most schools have long-standing arrangements with "sister schools" (nearby all-girl schools) that allow for combined activities such as dances and weekend sports events. Homesickness: Homesickness is expected ­ especially for new students. Most schools prohibit any outside contact during the first 30 days to help cadets get through the initial shock. After that, limited e-mail, telephone, and off-campus weekends passes are granted. Cadets who live far away have a more difficult time than others do. For example, Mohammed, a 16-year-old junior at Riverside Military Academy, is from Egypt and only gets to go home twice during the school year. Rules, rules, and more rules: Talk about strict! Making beds, shining shoes, cleaning barracks ­ cadets complain about the endless list of rules. However, a high degree of discipline is the cornerstone of the entire military structure. And you can bet that officials have no problem enforcing the rules! There are many unfortunate examples of cocky seniors who showed poor judgment close to graduation and were unceremoniously dismissed ­ much to their parents' dismay. Hazing: Military schools strictly forbid hazing, yet it still happens. Bob, a 30-year-old graduate of a northern academy, recalls "yelling and intimidating, pushups with kicks, and stepping on fingers" from "overbearing upperclassmen still trying to find themselves." Interestingly, Bob credits these trials with helping him develop "mental toughness." He also notes that hazing is less frequent now than it was when he attended military school. Military schools have a long history of success. As one graduate said, "It may not be a walk in the park, but in the end you have morals and many experiences that will help you for the rest of your life." A PARENT''S VIEW When my husband bought up the idea of sending our son to a military school, I laughed. Take my boy away? Forget it! However, as my focus moved from what I would miss to what he would gain, my outlook changed. We sent away a confused boy. Now, two years later, we proudly see our son as a confident young man. He is visibly happier, his grades have never been better, and he is making his own decisions rather than following the crowd. There have been tears and triumphs, heartaches and happiness. Our son was at a turning point in his life ­ and military school helped turn him in the right direction. The hardest part has been missing him. Sometimes when I see a mother and her teenage son together at the grocery store or mall, a part of me dies inside. It is gut-wrenching to not have your children at home with you ­ especially considering how quickly they grow up. However, I am reminded of what a wise friend said: "Your main job as a parent is to make a healthy adult out of your child." Sometimes this requires parents to make responsible decisions that hurt in the short run. Sending your child to military school is a very personal decision. For us, it was the right one.       Click for a topic:  COST  DAILY SCHEDULE  MORE INFORMATION  A PARENT'S VIEW  MYTHS VS. REALITY  A STUDENT'S VIEW COST It's not cheap! You can expect to pay $15,000 to $25,000 for room, board, uniforms, and incidentals. Most schools have payment plans available. DAILY SCHEDULE What's a typical day like? Although each school is different, GA's Riverside Military Academy provides a typical schedule: MORNING: 6 a.m., Rise and shine. 6-7, Clean barracks, shower. 7-7:30, Breakfast. 7:40-12 noon, Classes. AFTERNOON: 12-12:30 p.m., Lunch. 12:30-2:50, Classes. 3:00-3:30, Prepare for sports. 3:30-5:30, Sports. 5:30-6. Wash up for dinner. EVENING: 6:15-6:30, March and salute flag. 6:30-7, Dinner. 7-7:30, Prepare for study time. 7:30-9:30, Study time. 9:30-10, Free time, get ready for bed. 10 p.m., "Taps" (lights out). Weekends are fairly unstructured (cadets look forward to "sleeping in" until 10 a.m. on Saturdays!). Parades and sports events are typical weekend activities, drawing an audience of local residents and proud parents. Church attendance is required of all cadets.  FOR MORE INFORMATION www.amcsus.org Association of Military Colleges and Schools of the United States. "A source for information on the 42 outstanding military schools that meet the high scholastic, military and ethical standards required for membership." www.about.com Check out the "military schools" site for excellent information on how to select a school, along with hyperlinks to many school web sites. MILITARY SCHOOLS: MYTH VS. REALITY By H. Michael Hughes, Ph.D. Superintendent, Riverside Military Academy Myth 1: Military schools are for "bad boys." Reality: Most military schools do not accept students with alcohol, drug, or serious behavioral problems. Military schools are not "reform" institutions! Myth 2: Military schools are "therapeutic" places where neglected students are "sent" by their parents to overcome serious psychological issues. Reality: Military school admissions officials refer such students to true therapeutic treatment institutions (schools and other). Myth 3: Military schools are not really college preparatory academies. Reality: Graduates of military schools today compete for (and win) academic, athletic, and ROTC scholarships at top academic institutions. Myth 4: Only rich kids attend military school. Reality: Families from a variety of economic circumstances make sacrifices to provide their children this "opportunity for success." Myth 5: The lifestyle is dull and monotonous at a military school. Reality: The educational experience develops the whole person, providing a combination of academic, athletic, spiritual and extracurricular programs. Myth 6: We do not get to see our son or daughter often if we send them to military school. Reality: Military schools are very family oriented and value the school-parent-student alliance. Myth 7: The food is terrible at military schools. Reality: Senior leaders focus significant resources and attention on the quality of food service operations for the cadets. Myth 8: Most faculty members are military retirees, not professional teachers. Reality: Military academies are fully accredited by regional accreditation bodies and have qualified professional teachers on staff. The majority of classroom teachers in military schools are not retirees ­ they are dedicated, educational professionals who love teaching and working with cadets in this environment! THE STUDENT VIEW Luke Wright, a senior, has attended Riverside for three years. The first year was not his choice; the last two (pretty much) were. Here's what Luke has to say: Q: What is the #1 lesson you have learned at Riverside? A: How to respect others. It's hard to put my finger on exactly how I have learned this. Maybe it is the constant reminders about doing the right thing and acting with integrity. It rubs off on you after a while! Q: Where would you be now if you had not gone to Riverside? A: I don't even want to think about it. I didn't want to go, but looking back on it now, considering some of the stuff I was getting into, I really, really needed it. Q: What is the hardest part about going to Riverside? A: Missing my friends. I live in Pennsylvania, so I don't get to go home much. When I do, my parents get upset that I don't spend all my time with them. But I really want to be around my friends since I've been away so much.

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